Scripturient

extremefandomfeels:

localtiredgoat:

Ok why did noone tell me that book shrek judt absolutely FUCKS

And they didn’t even mention the best page.

(via spongebobssquarepants)

stupidbeecandle:

mcnerds:

ghostingrose:

stupidbeecandle:

drinkyourjuiceshelby:

I lived and worked in a lighthouse at a previous job.  There was a thick line painted in a circle around the shack where the fog signal was kept.  The line represented how close you could get to the fog signal without experiencing physical harm in the form of eardrums shattering or worse.

Even in the house it was LOUD.  Probably the loudest thing I have ever experienced but at a normal, predictable interval.  You would begin to time your sentences with little pauses with the rest of the lighthouse crew so you would talk like this while making your………..HORN…………. tea and then carry on talking because you knew when it would go off.  It rattled the walls and the dishes in our cabinet.

At least one girl had died there. They kept photos of her everywhere “in honor of her sacrifice” because she had decided to take the winter watch alone and died in a storm where bounders the size of mini vans had been lifted out of the ocean and left scattered across the island, to say nothing of the ice chunks.  People weren’t allowed to be alone on the watch after that.

One day a dead moose washed up on shore and it took my entire crew all day but we managed to rig up a line to hang it up to dry because we thought having a moose skeleton in the house would really spice the living room up a bit.  It did.  Weird shit happens when six of you are left alone, like ALONE ALONE, no cell reception, no wifi, just a radio to contact the real world and not a lot of reason to do that.  People don’t go on lighthouse jobs if they want to stay connected, I’ve found.

That said Id do it all again, I really do treasure those days

you know you could’ve just said “no they don’t have wifi” and that would’ve answered the question

But then you wouldnt have known about the moose

(via clubpenguinkiller)

capacity:

chaotic-carnifex:

ratsetflummi:

pitbolshevik:

im terrified of wisconsin now

bro, that’s just mett

That is literally Zwiebelmett, like “tiger meat”? “Cannibal sandwich”?? Why are these people acting like this shit’s soooo badass when the only valid nickname for Mett is Bauarbeitermarmelade (construction worker’s jam) 😂

Wow congrats you are sooo hardcore for eating like a German

Germany is disgusting of course you people eat like this

(via clubpenguinkiller)

silverjirachi:

everythingfox:

big smile

(via)

@musical-tears

(via spongebobssquarepants)

raptorific:

raptorific:

people keep using the word “himbo” and nobody’s mentioned him smh

(via coolboysclub)

oysters-aint-for-me:

oysters-aint-for-me:

charlie kelly can see shrimp colors he just doesn’t realize it

charlie kelly can actually do the “infinite chocolate bar” trick but he doesn’t mention it bc he just assumes everyone can

(via clubpenguinkiller)

anarcho-malarkyist-deactivated2:

brainscrewz:

tbh if someone just handed me a pressure washer and set me loose in the streets i would go into a trance and just start hosing shit down indiscriminately. it’s not a question of how much i could clean, but how long until i get hit by a car and die

(via clubpenguinkiller)

do-you-have-a-flag:

everythingfox:

Shower time

I was so worried the water pressure was going to be high and I was about to watch that frog/toad get BLASTED INTO NEXT TUESDAY

(via spongebobssquarepants)

ndiecity:

ndiecity:

i wish i knew some trans guys with my deadname so i could dm them this picture

good lord. stay safe out there folks

(via coolboysclub)

herlocksholmesbrainrot:

rootbeerfloats:

my favorite character type is a character that is gay but they have no romantic chemistry with anyone because of how fucking insane they are

what the fuck

(via patrik-star)